Tag Archives: inspiration

Getting By.

Lately, I have felt an underlying dissatisfaction with everything I’ve done. I don’t feel like anything I do is good enough. I don’t know who I’m aiming to please if I’m honest. I want to please myself, but I don’t know what I want.

University is still a bit of a struggle. I’ve had to do a lot of work in the last few days, and I have an exam on Monday. I can’t imagine it will go too well.

I’m still bored. I have enjoyed going to the cinema on my own if I’m honest, there’s something peaceful about it. Sad, like a spinster, but peaceful nonetheless.

NaNoWriMo was a disaster, but I did change my plan of what I was going to do. I haven’t started Plan B yet. I have been thinking about it, but lately I’ve had no time to do anything. And we all know that if I had the time, I wouldn’t do it anyway. The thought of sitting in silence watching television repeats on this squeaky spinning chair suddenly seems very appealing when I have the spare time. I think the attempt at writing my novel has shaken my writing confidence. I thought I’d be good at it, but wowzas I was poor. So, when I restart, it will be nice and small.

I’m getting by with life, but I don’t feel particularly satisfied. I need a spark to reignite my passion for something. Anything at all. Something new, or something old. Something will come along eventually, something productive I hope. I will let you know if it does.

I will start posting blog posts of some value at some point, but today is not the day. Neither is tomorrow.

A Change of Plan.

The grand plan has changed.

I started NaNo with hopes and dreams, and I felt really prepared, I was ready to ‘smash it’. It was all pictured in my head, I even had names, everything felt well.

But, straight away, plot holes. I thought I had ironed things out. By the end of the first chapter, I had already noticed two. I’d already wrote inconsistently in the same POV over two paragraphs.

It is the first project I’ve ever attempted to write. I think I bit off more than i could chew. The idea is still there, I still have what I planned, but I think I need to work on the craft of writing first. It will help me with style, descriptions, lexical choices, everything. I think it is needed. I can sit down here, blab on about nothing with no plan and I think it reads quite well. The second I try to do it with a planned out chapter, fart.

So, I am officially retiring my first book from NaNo 2013. On top of the writing problems, I also haven’t had the time – two exams, coursework to start and finish, and just being tired from university stuff. I think the best time for me to crack on will be over Christmas break.

However, the work has not stopped. My new goal is to write a number of short stories in my world. I’ll write the first one, and publish it for free. Then, if that goes well, then I could publish the rest in an anthology – ‘The Agerian Chronicles’, or something similar.

I vaguely know what I’ll be writing about too. I posted a basic history of the Agerian monarchy some weeks ago, and I have developed it further. The short stories will all be from different eras in the history. The first will be the story of Endrew Blacktree of Fulford, and how he fought a king. I am cracking on with the planning as we speak.

Hopefully, I will have more things writing related posted more frequently. I don’t like to post about writing, as I can’t do it myself yet. Maybe soon.

(In a completely unrelated note, my exams went better than I thought they would, and my parents visited, and I feel my man period has nearly fully retreated.)

Have a good day.

Why I Want To Write A Novel.

Hello again, fancy seeing you here.

People who follow me will know that I’m making slow progress writing my first novel, like now for example. My pen and paper are next to me, but I’m writing this post instead. If I could have wrote as many words on my book as I have on my blog I’d be flying and delighted, but the words seem to flow easier when I’m blogging. No idea why, it just does.

I haven’t told many people that I am writing a novel, I’m not sure why, I just haven’t felt the need to. I think it might be because I have this image in my head of nobody knowing about it, and then having me sitting on a chat show on TV talking about my bestseller and previewing the movie of my novel. I think that’d shock a few people from school…

I was with a friend for the first time in the school holidays and he asked me what I’d been up to. I said, “TV, homework, playstation, writing…” He cut me off. “Why are you doing that [writing]?” he replied.

I didn’t really tell him, I didn’t know what to say, but now I’m going to tell you.

  1. One day, whilst going through my favourite things in real world history (The Romans and Hannibal Barca, Joan of Arc, English and Scottish History) and learning about new interesting things (Custer’s last stand, unknown religions to me, etc.) a story just came to me in my head. I wrote down what I was thinking, of how many main characters there would be, a map started to form in my head, and I was excited by it. I knew I had to write it down. My favourite books and some of my favourite films/TV shows are fantasy fiction, so I’d be writing something I would enjoy aswell. And I was that excited, I just wanted to tell people.
  2. Since then it has been a struggle. The map has gone very well, but I’ve struggled with names, and the naming issue has held me back to now. This adversity (I like that word…) has motivated me in a different way to point number one, I now want to prove to myself that I can do it. I rarely stick anything through to the end with maximum effort, so I want to do this to build my character, and to give myself and hopefully my family something to be proud of.
  3. If I do finish it, which I of course will *gulp*, I will just love the feeling of seeing my book on a shelf, and being proud I accomplished it.

I’m not writing this book now for money, I’m writing it for a sense of achievement in myself. Then it will be to perhaps entertain people I’ve never met for a few days. The money doesn’t matter to me. I don’t think I could be a full time writer, I don’t really know why, but I want to have a career in the degree I will be pursuing from September (Sport Science). If it gets me a couple of quid a week for some pocket money, that would be great.

Obviously deep down I want my novel to be the greatest book ever written, most sold and most read, making me rich enough to never do anything again, all the luxuries possible, knowing my children and my children’s children will be financially secure and be able to have many luxuries.

But I’m more than content at being proud of myself.

That is why I am going to finish this novel my friends, to say I, Alex Wells, did it all by myself.

Thanks for reading.