Lately, I have felt an underlying dissatisfaction with everything I’ve done. I don’t feel like anything I do is good enough. I don’t know who I’m aiming to please if I’m honest. I want to please myself, but I don’t know what I want.
University is still a bit of a struggle. I’ve had to do a lot of work in the last few days, and I have an exam on Monday. I can’t imagine it will go too well.
I’m still bored. I have enjoyed going to the cinema on my own if I’m honest, there’s something peaceful about it. Sad, like a spinster, but peaceful nonetheless.
NaNoWriMo was a disaster, but I did change my plan of what I was going to do. I haven’t started Plan B yet. I have been thinking about it, but lately I’ve had no time to do anything. And we all know that if I had the time, I wouldn’t do it anyway. The thought of sitting in silence watching television repeats on this squeaky spinning chair suddenly seems very appealing when I have the spare time. I think the attempt at writing my novel has shaken my writing confidence. I thought I’d be good at it, but wowzas I was poor. So, when I restart, it will be nice and small.
I’m getting by with life, but I don’t feel particularly satisfied. I need a spark to reignite my passion for something. Anything at all. Something new, or something old. Something will come along eventually, something productive I hope. I will let you know if it does.
I will start posting blog posts of some value at some point, but today is not the day. Neither is tomorrow.